[palomino0527]

Every so often, from deep within the bowels of Craiglist's car ads emerges a pitch written above a grade-school level. This one from Vancouver for a 1990 Nissan Skyline embraces the awesome potential of the drift day special it's hawking. We. Approve.


This isn't your normal skyline. This motherfcker is the skyline God would drive if he wasn't busy doing God sh*t like making tsunamis and crap. Its set up to go fast, and go fast sideways. Who doesn't like to get sideway?! Terrorists, thats who. Are you a terrorist? No? Then you need this car.

Handling? This car handles like a junior executive CEO. Go around corners like the devil himself is chasing you, and not give a fck.

Whats that? You like drifting? Well I've got some great god d@mn news for you. This car was a drift project of mine, and the last owner was planning on making it a drift machine too. Interior is for pussies so we got rid of it. Manly as fck. It literally oozes testosterone. So much so that its puddling up in the back.

Seats? this cocks*cker has got two. One for you, and one for the hot @ss broad thats gunna be all upons your dick after you buy this car. You're a girl? Sh*t works both ways. One seat for you, and one seat for that hot @ss dude you've been trying to hook up with for weeks. Deal with it,sh*ts getting serious.

Stereos and AC are for hippies. Fortunately this car has neither. Oh look at me, I like listen to Simon and Garfunkel and think about puppies. F*ck that. The only noises you're gunna be hearing is the ultra manly engine noises coming from this sweet turbocharged, intercooled, 24 valve inline 6. Sh*ts getting real, real f*cking fast.

This car has got a bright orange ebrake handle (b*tches love orange) with a drift button for those super ultra megahellatastic bar room brawler ebrake lockers. F*ck. Yes.

Now, I'll be honest. The wheels are a little lackluster, although everyones gunna be so focused on your super gangster drifting that nobody is going to give a f*ck about your sh*tty stock 16s. Don't worry, I've got you fcking covered. Its like we're in Vietnam and you just got ambushed by Charlie. Don't worry, friend, I've got your fcking back and I blow charlie to kingdom fcking come. For an extra $450 I can throw in some added p*ssy magnets for wheels, just don't come crawling back to me complaining that you're getting TOO much vajayjay. Bright fcking green 18s. Greens not your thing? Super legit silver 18s. Done like dinner.

This car has got 1.5 metric f*ck tons of awesome parts. Bride, Greddy, Brembo, the list doesn't f*cking END. It just keeps going and going, like the energizer bunny on speed.

You like going fast? Ever tried to outrun 24 police cars and 3 helicopters? You need this car. It will go so fcking fast that you may very well go back in time. It happened to me once. Just once, but it was fcking rad. Its like someone took a rocket and opened its mouth and poured steroids down its throat and and threatened to kill its family if it wasn't the fastest motherfcker you've ever driven.

[beantown]

im gonna wait for someone else to confirm the funniness of that post because i dont wanna read it all =/

[mpower3o2]

[Cnguye22]

hahahhahahahha "Who doesn't like to get sideway?! Terrorists, thats who. Are you a terrorist? No? Then you need this car."

[palomino0527]

LOL

[Zoraster]

Originally Posted by 335coupe2007

hey man.. u should post this in the proper section since this nothing to do with the menu title.. Just a heads up

[khaye1]

This was on "best of craigslist" a while back...still funny as shit

[lastkings2012]

LMFAO. he sounds like a prime salesman

[gunnerxq]

lmao I need to see this car

[Teufel_Hunden]

"Oh look at me, I like listen to Simon and Garfunkel and think about puppies."

Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

[atown88]

http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/cto/2977737272.html

[Eugeinus]

did not lol

[Dozhdbog]

did lol

[Eugeinus]

Originally Posted by atown88

http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/cto/2977737272.html

lol'ed

[Mpy18]

i now want this car.

[Gator335i]

This guy needs to get a professional writing gig! That is HILARIOUS!

[AndyR83]

Enjoyed the link to the Pontiac ad

[palomino0527]

the guy who wrote it should be a car salesman. lol

[jdhart73]

All those that didn't LOL should go back to giving themselves enemas to remove the stick, that ish was funny!

[Cgmiller63]

I wanna go back in f@king time!

[jeremicium]

Here's a link to the Jalopnik article on this epic ad:
http://jalopnik.com/5849236/awesomes...ts-awesomeness

If feel bad for those that did not LOL at this. As for posting this in the proper section...blah blah blah.

Thanks for posting OP.

[Kolyan2k]

Brevity is the Soul of Wit