Funny and Ridiculous Things You've Seen/Heard from BMW

tony20009 · 08-28-2014, 03:26 AM

What things have you read or heard that were said/written by BMW or it's representatives that hit you as being funny or ridiculous?

Most recently for me is the post in the 7-series forum about the shape of the new headlights (http://www.7post.com/forums/showpost...57&postcount=1). Not "knee slapping funny," but I thought to myself, "looks like an ell in whose penmanship?"

All the best.

AweSam8 · 08-28-2014, 04:47 AM

Well I called the Service Center about the M Performance Power Kit, and the parts adviser responded, "what's that for?"... :/

x5mad · 08-28-2014, 05:22 AM

I complained that my car had quite a bit of lag (328) and whilst driving their 125 loan car that confirmed it. The 125 had imperceptible if any lag and also just felt more powerful.

Her response (she is also senior advisor!) "oh they have different engines and you can't compare a 1 series to a 3 series"

I was like wtf?! They are both N20 and both sport 8AT. I am only comparing perceived lag. If engine and drivetrain are same/similar being a 1 or 3er should not matter. Lag is lag!

Blubaron79 · 08-28-2014, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by x5mad

I complained that my car had quite a bit of lag (328) and whilst driving their 125 loan car that confirmed it. The 125 had imperceptible if any lag and also just felt more powerful.

Her response (she is also senior advisor!) "oh they have different engines and you can't compare a 1 series to a 3 series"

I was like wtf?! They are both N20 and both sport 8AT. I am only comparing perceived lag. If engine and drivetrain are same/similar being a 1 or 3er should not matter. Lag is lag!

That's probably a software thing.

stormlv · 08-28-2014, 06:28 AM

Dealer told me (according to their conversation with BMW) that I can only have Launch Control with M models fitted with the dual clutch transmission (SA2MK).

I tried pointing out that not only there's a promotional video showing the 435i (and the M235i) with LC, but that I saw videos of the 435d with LC enabled... They said they'll get back to me :|

Quote:

Originally Posted by x5mad

I complained that my car had quite a bit of lag (328) and whilst driving their 125 loan car that confirmed it. The 125 had imperceptible if any lag and also just felt more powerful.

Her response (she is also senior advisor!) "oh they have different engines and you can't compare a 1 series to a 3 series"

I was like wtf?! They are both N20 and both sport 8AT. I am only comparing perceived lag. If engine and drivetrain are same/similar being a 1 or 3er should not matter. Lag is lag!

The 1 series is lighter (by almost 200lbs), maybe this could contribute to that feeling?

Halsifer · 08-28-2014, 09:24 AM

Few times.

- A sales guys once told me that 328i will out perform an Audi S4 in any circumstance. He said he has 'seen videos'. ...Really? 240hp vs 333hp? That doesn't sound right, now does it.

- I brought up a problem my trunk popping open randomly while the key was in the cup holder to a service adviser over the phone. He asked, "So what do you want me to do about it?" ...I don't know, look at it? Fix it?

- Had a sales guy explain that when you put it in sport mode, it moves fluid into the springs making it stiffer. ...The car didn't have DHP. I kept my mouth shut.

- I talked to a BMW Genius and asked why some 3-series M-Sport's have fog lamps in the U.S. for 2015 models. They held me on the phone for 30 minutes trying to figure it out and came back with, "I checked and BMW has never made a 3-series M-Sport fog lamps anywhere. Must be third-party because it didn't come from our factories."

snowghost · 08-28-2014, 01:13 PM

When I mentioned about the problem of rusty seat pans on the early F30s, my SA asked me how I knew. I told her it's a known issue on the BMW forums. She replied that the BMW forums are a very dangerous place.

Needless to say she is now my former SA.

bmwauug · 08-28-2014, 01:26 PM

Since you have an xdrive, your summer tires will be fine in the snow...

tony20009 · 08-28-2014, 01:54 PM

Some of the salesperson stories reminded me of this.

When Dad bought his e92, the salesman was doing the obligatory walk through of the car's features. When he got to explaining the DTC button, he said, "...and this button you should never press it." To which, Dad said, "Why did they put a button I should never press at the top of the dashboard, right in the middle, next to the door lock button? Wouldn't it have made more sense for them to hide it in the trunk or glove box?"

I'm not sure which one of them made me laugh more. However, if I had any doubt before, I was then sure that Dad's old age (he was 95-ish at the time) had left his wit intact, despite what it's done with him memory.

All the best.

carlos@velosdesignwerks · 08-28-2014, 01:55 PM

"I'm just rolling coal in my 520d"

Blubaron79 · 08-28-2014, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmwauug

Since you have an xdrive, your summer tires will be fine in the snow...

I got that one

Bassthe1st · 08-28-2014, 03:24 PM

If you don't drive 50km per day you need a battery charger installed. Actually true it seems.

tony20009 · 08-28-2014, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bassthe1st

If you don't drive 50km per day you need a battery charger installed. Actually true it seems.

That can't possibly be true. Both my BMWs sit for weeks on end without being driven or even started and I have yet to find the battery dead when I've gone to start either of them. I've never even seen a battery charger, not even a picture of one.

'07 E92: ~53K miles
'11 F10: ~10K miles

All the best.

34.50 · 08-28-2014, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bassthe1st

If you don't drive 50km per day you need a battery charger installed. Actually true it seems.

Bullshit, I drive anywhere from 6 km/day up to 24 km/day, and I have never had issues with the battery on my '13 F30. I have even left it undriven/not started for a week when I went on vacation, and it started up fine when I returned.

Bassthe1st · 08-28-2014, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 34.50

Bullshit, I drive anywhere from 6 km/day up to 24 km/day, and I have never had issues with the battery on my '13 F30. I have even left it undriven/not started for a week when I went on vacation, and it started up fine when I returned.

There is no problem leaving it for a week. It's the stop and go that prevent the battery from charging.

OC40 · 08-29-2014, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bassthe1st

If you don't drive 50km per day you need a battery charger installed. Actually true it seems.

I drive 2-10 miles per day during the week. That's BS.

OC40 · 08-29-2014, 09:26 AM

I ordered the M Performance Suspension about a year ago. I always call another dealership to verify installation quotes from my dealer.

The SA and Parts manager said that there is not a suspension upgrade for the F30. I told them that I already ordered it and that I would like an installation quote. They stated that they can not provide a quote because this suspension that I speak of is not in their system for the F30...

08-28-2014, 03:26 AM	#1
tony20009 Major General 1046 Rep 5,660 Posts Drives: BMW 335i - Coupe Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Washington, DC iTrader: (0)	Funny and Ridiculous Things You've Seen/Heard from BMW What things have you read or heard that were said/written by BMW or it's representatives that hit you as being funny or ridiculous? Most recently for me is the post in the 7-series forum about the shape of the new headlights (http://www.7post.com/forums/showpost...57&postcount=1). Not "knee slapping funny," but I thought to myself, "looks like an ell in whose penmanship?" All the best. __________________ Cheers, Tony ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ '07, e92 335i, *Sparkling Graphite, Coral Leather, Aluminum, 6-speed*
	Appreciate 0 Tweet Quote

08-28-2014, 04:47 AM	#2
AweSam8 Super Spectacular Awesome Dude 69 Rep 577 Posts Drives: 2010 E70 X5M, 2014 F30 335i M Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Seattle, WA iTrader: (0)	Well I called the Service Center about the M Performance Power Kit, and the parts adviser responded, "what's that for?"... :/
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-28-2014, 05:22 AM	#3
x5mad Lieutenant Colonel 352 Rep 1,772 Posts Drives: iX 40 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Australia iTrader: (0) Garage List bmw [0.00]	I complained that my car had quite a bit of lag (328) and whilst driving their 125 loan car that confirmed it. The 125 had imperceptible if any lag and also just felt more powerful. Her response (she is also senior advisor!) "oh they have different engines and you can't compare a 1 series to a 3 series" I was like wtf?! They are both N20 and both sport 8AT. I am only comparing perceived lag. If engine and drivetrain are same/similar being a 1 or 3er should not matter. Lag is lag!
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-28-2014, 09:24 AM	#6
Halsifer Captain 251 Rep 640 Posts Drives: 2018 Audi RS7 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Austin, Texas iTrader: (0)	Few times. - A sales guys once told me that 328i will out perform an Audi S4 in any circumstance. He said he has 'seen videos'. ...Really? 240hp vs 333hp? That doesn't sound right, now does it. - I brought up a problem my trunk popping open randomly while the key was in the cup holder to a service adviser over the phone. He asked, "So what do you want me to do about it?" ...I don't know, look at it? Fix it? - Had a sales guy explain that when you put it in sport mode, it moves fluid into the springs making it stiffer. ...The car didn't have DHP. I kept my mouth shut. - I talked to a BMW Genius and asked why some 3-series M-Sport's have fog lamps in the U.S. for 2015 models. They held me on the phone for 30 minutes trying to figure it out and came back with, "I checked and BMW has never made a 3-series M-Sport fog lamps anywhere. Must be third-party because it didn't come from our factories." __________________ 2018 Audi RS7 4.0T 2006 BMW e46 330Ci Convertible ZHP 2010 Audi S5 4.2L [Sold] 2014 BMW 335i xDrive M-Sport [Sold] 2010 Audi A6 3.0T [Sold]
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-28-2014, 01:13 PM	#7
snowghost Colonel 155 Rep 2,266 Posts Drives: '13 335i M-Sport 6MT Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: SoCal iTrader: (1)	When I mentioned about the problem of rusty seat pans on the early F30s, my SA asked me how I knew. I told her it's a known issue on the BMW forums. She replied that the BMW forums are a very dangerous place. Needless to say she is now my former SA. __________________ F30 Sapphire Black M-Sport 335i 6MT
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-28-2014, 01:26 PM	#8
bmwauug Major 249 Rep 1,051 Posts Drives: 2023 X5MC Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Almost There iTrader: (0)	Since you have an xdrive, your summer tires will be fine in the snow... __________________ 2023 X5MC \| Donington Grey \| Black
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-28-2014, 01:54 PM	#9
tony20009 Major General 1046 Rep 5,660 Posts Drives: BMW 335i - Coupe Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Washington, DC iTrader: (0)	Some of the salesperson stories reminded me of this. When Dad bought his e92, the salesman was doing the obligatory walk through of the car's features. When he got to explaining the DTC button, he said, "...and this button you should never press it." To which, Dad said, "Why did they put a button I should never press at the top of the dashboard, right in the middle, next to the door lock button? Wouldn't it have made more sense for them to hide it in the trunk or glove box?" I'm not sure which one of them made me laugh more. However, if I had any doubt before, I was then sure that Dad's old age (he was 95-ish at the time) had left his wit intact, despite what it's done with him memory. All the best. __________________ Cheers, Tony ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ '07, e92 335i, *Sparkling Graphite, Coral Leather, Aluminum, 6-speed*
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-28-2014, 01:55 PM	#10
carlos@velosdesignwerks Brigadier General 631 Rep 4,311 Posts Drives: BMW M4 Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Miami iTrader: (0)	"I'm just rolling coal in my 520d"
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-28-2014, 03:24 PM	#12
Bassthe1st Private First Class 22 Rep 160 Posts Drives: 2017 330i xDrive M Sport Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Montreal, Qc iTrader: (0)	If you don't drive 50km per day you need a battery charger installed. Actually true it seems. __________________ Current: 2017 330i xDrive M Sport Past: 2013 328i xDrive, 2008 335XI 6MT, Legacy SPEC.B, MazdaSpeed6(best of all)
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-29-2014, 09:26 AM	#17
OC40 Lieutenant Colonel 51 Rep 1,831 Posts Drives: 335i MSport + MPS/MPPK Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Irvine, CA iTrader: (0) Garage List 2013 MINI S [0.00] 2013 BMW 335i [0.00]	I ordered the M Performance Suspension about a year ago. I always call another dealership to verify installation quotes from my dealer. The SA and Parts manager said that there is not a suspension upgrade for the F30. I told them that I already ordered it and that I would like an installation quote. They stated that they can not provide a quote because this suspension that I speak of is not in their system for the F30...
	Appreciate 0 Quote