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      08-14-2022, 09:14 AM   #595
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These jokes are a gas.
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      08-14-2022, 10:13 AM   #596
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Jane View Post
I'm trying not to react to your post.But thank you! My ego needs inflating. He He.

I think we should stop now before we compound the issue.
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      08-14-2022, 10:18 AM   #597
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sygazelle View Post
I think we should stop now before we compound the issue.
I agree. It could get volatile.
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      08-14-2022, 02:20 PM   #598
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These latest jokes are GOLD! In fact, they're AU-some.
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      08-14-2022, 02:20 PM   #599
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Couldn’t resist this

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      08-14-2022, 02:42 PM   #600
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BMWGUYinCO View Post
These latest jokes are GOLD! In fact, they're AU-some.
My chemistry teacher, Mrs. Priestly, would be proud. I just wish she would have made it this much fun!
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      08-14-2022, 03:51 PM   #601
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sygazelle View Post
My chemistry teacher, Mrs. Priestly, would be proud. I just wish she would have made it this much fun!
My geography teacher Jake the Rake would fall of his wonky chair at these jokes if he was still living.
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      08-14-2022, 07:50 PM   #602
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Boat & motor

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      08-14-2022, 07:52 PM   #603
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M5Rick View Post
My geography teacher Jake the Rake would fall of his wonky chair at these jokes if he was still living.
I guess he previously fell off his chair?
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      08-14-2022, 10:08 PM   #604
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STOP!




In the name of love.
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      08-15-2022, 02:19 AM   #605
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.0L View Post
I guess he previously fell off his chair?
Aye it was so, we students loosened the screws in it before a lesson.
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      08-15-2022, 05:42 AM   #606
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I have a Polish friend who's a roadie for a European metal band and I also have a Czech one too, Czech one too.
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      08-15-2022, 09:00 AM   #607
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An athlete who won a race couldn't find his countries flag ''Help I've lost my flag'' he uttered. The stewards confirmed that his loss had been flagged.
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      08-15-2022, 12:13 PM   #608
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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, the barman says, is this a joke?
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      08-15-2022, 02:14 PM   #609
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Jokes about Communism aren't funny...

...unless everybody gets them.
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      08-15-2022, 02:15 PM   #610
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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar.

And doesn't.
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      08-15-2022, 02:26 PM   #611
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      08-16-2022, 08:39 AM   #612
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Why was the tomato red?
Because he saw the salad dressing.
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      08-16-2022, 09:19 AM   #613
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What do nuclear scientists eat for snacks?

Fission chips.

They're the hottest chips around.

There's also a cool ranch version, cold fusion chips.

Those are really hard to find, and are usually fakes, though.
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      08-16-2022, 11:42 AM   #614
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandi90TT View Post
Jokes about Communism aren't funny...

...unless everybody gets them.
What's the difference between Communism and Capitalism?

In Communism it's man against man, in Capitalism it's the other way around.
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      08-16-2022, 02:06 PM   #615
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In dinosaur culture, it's considered very impolite and a major faux pas to wish upon a falling star.
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      08-16-2022, 02:37 PM   #616
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandi90TT View Post
Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar.

And doesn't.
I died laughing....or did I?
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