You're probably never going to see this happen, it's too much a niche function.
For your situation you should have both phones paired to the car, and then go in and manage them in mobile devices to select which one is the CarPlay selection and which is the non-Carplay, as you're already doing, you'd almost be better off if you had the limited BT that only allows a single phone to pair.
But even then, since CarPlay no longer requires full screen access there's no reason one of them can't always be CarPlay.
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