I've been in Cary for the past 24 years. It's a great family-oriented community, great schools, everything geared towards family. That said, now that my kids are grown, it's too boring of a place to retire too, and winters are simply too cold for me (mind you, I absolutely DESPISE the winter season on just about every level imaginable). There's a lack of good restaurants close by, usually have to drive 30 minutes or so to find some culinary diversity. Most everything in the immediate Cary area are chains tailored towards families, just not my thing. If you're single, I'd say it's not the most exciting of places to be. No nightlife whatsoever in Cary, Raleigh/Chapel Hill/Durham all have more, but it's still not what I would call remotely vibrant. Given
FuriouslyFast contributions to the dating thread, I'd go out on a limb and say he probably would find it pretty boring here
. The entire area has grown leaps and bounds, so traffic and general crowding is getting much worse than it used it to be. You'll want to pick someplace to live that has easy access to your work location. I live 12 miles/15 minutes from work but I have an ideal commute route. Others are not so lucky. Mind you, it's nothing like other metro areas, but still much worse than it was when I first moved here, and it's been getting exponentially worse in the most recent years.
The area is pretty centrally located, so getting to beaches or "mountains" is generally within 3 hours. The ocean water is very warm in the summer which is really nice, and there's some very chill beach communities all along the coast. Summer rentals on the coast are very expensive, so if you're after a summer beach vacation (early June through early Sept), driving to Florida is a WAY better bang for the buck. The "mountains" are nice as well, but being that I grew up in CA, it's kinda funny to me to call them mountains. I prefer the areas around Asheville if I get a hankering for some mountain time. Lake Lure is very nice, as is Chimney Rock. Dupont State Park is worth a day hike, lots of waterfalls, very pretty. Most folks in this area go to the Boone area since it's closer, but I find it pretty boring as far as mountains go. Another HUGE plus for me is that I'm only 70 miles from VIR, and 150 miles from CMP, so track weekends are a pretty easy endeavor.
Socially, it's a mixed bag. I have close friends here, but also plenty of people I simply have no use for (especially as I've gotten older/wiser). Lots of holier-than-thou self-righteous types who look down their nose on others. Education snobbery is ridiculous, everyone in competition for bragging rights about where their kids are going to school. Venture outside the metro areas and it's rednecks are us. Overt racism/xenophobia/homophobia/anyonenotlikemephobia is everywhere, and over the past 3 years, much more in your face. Completely idiotic big-brother blue laws as well - the state makes a fortune on their legalized liquor monopoly, with selection of spirits limited to just the usual suspects (and over-priced as well). Case in point, a bottle of Titos is half the cost in FL.
Cost of living is probably on the high side for the south, in fact it may be among the highest COL in the South. A nice house in Cary will set you back 500k, renting a nice apartment probably 1400 or so for a 1BR in a nice area. There are cheaper options, just depends on what you consider a nice place to live. Car insurance isn't too bad, property taxes vary greatly depending on where you live (<1%-3%). State income taxes is fixed at 7%, sales taxes around the same. Gas prices are pretty reasonable. Work-wise, the job market is pretty healthy. It's a "right-to-work" state, so there are virtually no worker protections in place whatsoever, you can get fired by an employer for any reason and you're basically on your own.
That all said, I acknowledge no place is perfect. All pluses and minuses considered, I am grateful to have lived in Cary and raised my family here, and I would recommend it to anyone looking for a great place to raise a family. It's greatness lies in the fact it is so conducive to family life balance, that it's very clean and safe, has many great neighborhoods, and that the schools are great. The social aspects you can work around, just like most other places.
Now that we're in our 50s and empty nesters nearing retirement, this area doesn't really offer what we're looking for. We're both beach bums at heart, so being on a warm coast is important. We're very active and social, so having fun adult things (eg. a good music scene) to do is also important. We're foodies, so having a good diverse culinary scene is also important. My preferred place to move to in the US would be Naples, FL., but my wife doesn't want to move to FL, so we'll likely retire to Pawley's Island SC area and winter in Latin America somewhere close to the equator (eg. Columbia, Panama, Costa Rica, Mexico).
Any more questions on the Raleigh area, let me know.