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I can't go for a walk (or really do much of anything) without feeling nervous that I'm going to shit myself, which in turn leads to an actual need to take a shit - urgently. I now plan activities around knowing where washrooms are, or try to bring some TP if I'm going into the woods. I've used leaves before.
It is actually an interesting predicament. I believe I know what the problem is - it is in my head. But I cannot fix it, for the same reason, because it is in my head and I cannot turn it off even though logically I know it doesn't make sense. I've honestly considered seeing a psych just to see if there is something I can do to win the battle in my mind.
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